An Emotional Day

"What one carries deep in their heart cannot be lost by death"

I'm not really sure how to write what I have been feeling or even how to start. All I know is that Andreea is in heaven. She is in a much better place. A place where she is no longer suffering. A place where there is so much love. Hearing the news today that Andreea passed away yesterday was a total shock. I knew she hasn't been doing well but I didn't know it was that bad. To think that a baby girl I held three days ago is now in heaven made me so sad. Death can be a hard thing to deal with but I just remember that she is in a better place and that makes me happy. It is when we loose someone we care about that our faith in the gospel is tested. To know that I will see this beautiful baby girl again and that there is life after death brings comfort and peace. To know that families can be together forever is such a blessing. This little girl is a child of God who has now returned home to a oh so loving Heavenly Father. I like to think that she is with her family, surrounded by people who love her all the time. She has such a sweet spirit to her. I was blessed by being in her presence and knowing her for two months. I was able to relieve Andreea of her pain for the time I was with her. I could bring love and comfort to a suffering little child. I was an instrument in God's hands. There is no doubt in my mind that this child is loved by Heavenly Father and Jesus. I find peace knowing that she is with Heavenly Father and Jesus surrounded in love and beauty.

"I feel my Savior's love, in all the world around me. His spirit warms my soul, through everything I see. He knows I will follow him, give all my life to him. I feel my Savior's love, the love he freely gives me.

I feel my Savior's love; Its gentleness enfolds me, and when I kneel to pray, my heart is filled with peace. He knows I will follow him, give all my life to him. I feel my Savior's love, the love he freely gives me.

I feel my Savior's love and know that he will bless me. I offer him my heart; my shepherd he will be. He knows I will follow him, give all my life to him. I feel my Savior's love, the love he freely gives me.

I'll share my Savior's love by serving others freely. In serving I am blessed. In giving I receive. He knows I will follow him, give all my life to him. I feel my Savior's love, the love he freely gives me."

I didn't find out about Andreea until after the orphanage. When I walked into my room at the orphanage, it was all changed up. Denisa is no longer in my room. I'm especially going to miss her hugs because she just melts into your arms when she hugs you. I'm going to miss playing with her everyday. She moved into another room at the orphanage so I will still see her, she just isn't in my room. I think they were going to move Teo too but she got really sad and started crying when they moved her into that room. So Teo, Mirela and Marion are the older ones staying. There is still all the younger ones plus 2 new ones! Girls- Anna Maria and Jackie. Today it was mostly just Mirela and the babies in the room. I had almost all morning to play with the younger ones and that never happens. The older ones always want my attention. I love love Iza! and Robert! How about all of them! I feel like the younger ones really know who I am and get really excited when they see me! Robert absolutely loves to be held. He is so close to walking and will just pull himself up on my lap for me to hold him. Mihai shakes his head and makes an "aaaa" sound. It is way cute! He gets really excited whenever someone starts talking to him. Stelian is very ticklish and Florin was not feeling very well. This has been the second day he has thrown up. Yesterday it got on me but today he was in the stroller when he did. Poor baby. The worker let me hold him after he threw up though and that doesn't happen very often. Florin cries a lot so the workers keep him in his crib most of the morning. It was really good of me to spend some time with the younger ones today!

Here is Stelian!

Andreea joined me and Sarahy at the hospital today. She wanted to come volunteer with us so she came along. The first room we went into at the hospital was Andreea's room. The nurses let us go into ICU and the first room they took us to was hers, except there was a new baby in her crib. That was really hard going into her room. I held Denisa who is in ICU for awhile. She hasn't been doing so well. She has been really shaky and in a lot of pain. I think she calms down when we hold her though. On the fifth floor we saw Eliana, Ion, and a really small baby with beautiful red/ brown hair. Katelyn knows the mom of this little baby and normally she is here but the last couple days she hasn't been there. Her baby is really small and looks so fragile. Her arms and legs are bent and shaped in weird positions and they look like they are broken. I don't know if they are but it made my heart hurt seeing a baby like this. She seemed like she was in so much pain. She just kept crying and crying. The hospital was so hot today! Ion thought so too. He was sweating so much his clothes were all wet! Even the sheets on his bed were wet. Mr. Girl was very happy today! But when is he not happy? Eliana was really happy today too. Andreea was able to talk to her in Romanian a lot today. Eliana really liked that!

Denisa

Eliana! She has some crazy hair going on. Her hair can stick straight up. We style her hair when we visit her.

Ion from the orphanage. Ion is John in Romanian!

The end of our day of work. Me, Andreea, and Sarahy

After the hospital I was a total mess. It was a bunch of little things going on but mostly the news of Andreea. One thing set it off and the tears came. "Tears are words that need to be written."I'm so grateful for my family, especially for my mom. The love and kind words sent my way from people in my family are much appreciated. I know that all of my family cares so much about me. I love you all! Thanks for all your love, support, comfort and prayers.

"Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart"

Spring Is Near

Today was a beautiful day! The sun was shinning all day and the weather was great. I hope this is a start to spring! I would love for the weather to start warming up. When the sun is out it makes a huge difference.

Today at the orphanage I was operated on! haha Marion, who isn't new to my room but normally is at school all morning, pretend shot me and then he brought me back to life, with the help of Teo and the worker Cami. Marion can be a little stinker. He would grab my hand sanitizer from my pocket and squeeze it all over his hands. He was a little crazy today. He knows a lot of romanian and speaks so fast! He did teach me couple new words today! fugă (run, hurry, go), deceda (die), sabie (sword), I'm sure there is more but that is all I can think of. He would say "Cami, cum se spune" (how do you say) and then whatever word in Romanian he was trying to get me to understand. Then she would try to act out the word or try to get me to understand. He wanted me to play his way! He made sure I was doing what he wanted me to do. He had so much energy and just wanted to play, play, play "juca!" Marion has a bike that is like a go kart. It's lower to the ground and looks like a go kart but has pedals. He was riding the go kart and telling me and Teo when to go "merge" and stop "stop!" He was the poliția (police). He even made the noise of the siren too. I was pushing Teo in the "machina" (car/ dump truck). It is a toy dump truck that is big enough for the kids to sit in. I had a tiring but great morning at the orphanage!

At the hospital they didn't let us go into the ICU. I heard good news. Gheorghe is going home with his mom tomorrow! Also Katelyn's boy left with his family this morning! I also found out that Lori's real name is Eliana Elena. Mihaela also told me that her mom was there this morning. It made me happy to know her mom had visited her! There are 2 brothers on the fourth floor who are older 5 and 7. Today we brought the iPad with us to the hospital and they loved playing on it! We actually let all the kids take turns playing on it. There is a game where you pop a certain number of balloons. We would let one of them pop the balloons and then when they finished their turn we would pass on the iPad. The kids were actually really good with sharing and taking turns. Eliana liked the iPad too. When we first saw Eliana she was crying and was in a room all by herself. I think she was crying because she was lonely. It was really sad to see her like that. When we went to go she got sad again and kept saying "acolo" (there). She wanted to go next door but we weren't sure if she could. We ended up asking the Lady next door if Eliana could come over and she said yes. After we brought Eliana next door she was so happy! That is all she wanted.

After the hospital, Andreea took us to go visit Aurelia in a different hospital. She is having surgery on her mouth tomorrow. After her surgery on her mouth then she can get braces. Her mouth is too small for all her teeth. Some of her teeth are behind her teeth. She has an expander right now. I am happy for her that she is getting this surgery. A smile can change so much! She is going to have a beautiful smile!

Then after visiting Aurelia, Andreea and the three of us went to Illius mall. We ate some ice cream and had McDonalds and looked inside a bookstore for awhile. Did you know that Las Vegas is the fastest growing city in the US? Or that the eiffel tower was first offered to be built in Barcelona, Spain but the people didn't want it? I learned but of these random facts in a book, 501 Must Visit Cities and 501 Must Visit Natural Wonders. The books were very interesting! I only looked at a couple but I did remember these two interesting facts.

Good Ol' Tuesday

There is a new little baby in my room, Izabela Elena Andreea! She is a beautiful baby, absolutely gorgeous. She has pretty brown eyes and long eyelashes. She is pretty small but can crawl already! I played with her for a long time. Something new also happened today. I fed Robert! Normally at 11 when the worker takes the younger children into lunch I stay with the older ones but today she asked me to go with her and help. That was exciting! Robert ate most of his food really well. The last little bit of it, he really didn't want to eat. He kept pushing my hand away. I figured he was done and I didn't want to force it into his mouth. I guess he normally eats all of it because at the end the worker came and shoved it in his mouth. He wasn't crying so I guess he was use to it. After I fed Robert I pushed Mirela in a car/ dumpster truck. She sat in the car and I pushed her. She loved it! It kept her entertained for awhile. Today at the orphanage I was a little sad. Something was up with Denisa. She normally loves me and wants to play with me all the time, but today she didn't. It was really weird and made a little sad. I hope tomorrow she is feeling better and more herself!

Lori is my fav! This is her on the right. That is probably bad to say but she is. She is an adorable little child. And I really like Mihaela. I talked to her most of the time I was there today. She has been there a week with her baby girl. I asked how she and the baby were doing and she said the same. I hope they can go home soon! Lori wasn't feeling so well today. I could tell when I was holding her. I ended up rocking her to sleep and she slept in my arms for most of the time I was there! I love having babies sleep in my arms. I found out from Mihaela, that her mom was there yesterday. That's way good. I don't know why she doesn't stay but at least she was there yesterday. Lori is also 8 1/2 months old. When I walked into the room today and picked up Lori, Mihaela told me Lori likes me better than her mom. She says Lori really likes me. I really like her! It was sad to hear that she likes me better than her mom though. She should like her mom better but I am glad I can hold her for the time I do each day. If I can make her day better then by all means I want to. It makes me really happy being in the room with this little cutie! The saddest part is when I have to leave her crying. She never wants me to go.

We started at the top today. We started with Katelyn's little boy. He was a lot of fun. He hasn't the nicest smile. It is just perfect. We weren't sure if he could walk but he had shoes next to his crib so we put his shoes on and got him out of the crib. We knew he could stand so we had him standing on the ground. Next thing we know he is taking off. He can definitely walk. It was fun playing with the little boy outside of his crib. Eliana was a lot of fun today too. We mostly danced to music and played with a balloon the whole time. She is always so happy! On the second floor I met a very nice lady. She has SEVEN young children. They are all about a year or two apart. The oldest I think is 9. She is the first person I have met in Romania that has a big family. She was sitting on the bed of the baby without a mom when Sarahy and me walked in. She gestured for me to follow her into the next room so I did. In there she showed me a picture of all her kids and told me about them. She also gave me her address and phone number. Shortly after that I left and went up to meet Sarahy and Katelyn. We ran into this lady again and I introduced her to the other two girls. I doubt we will do anything with the address since the three of us met her at the hospital and don't know anything about her, but she seems super nice. She has a beautiful family!

Wonderful things happen while I am in ICU. This is the only time I am alone. The three of us split up in ICU because there are so many children without moms in there. Most of them are small babies too. So when I go into a room it is normally just me and the baby. Sometimes there are other moms in the room but I normally don't talk to them. I use this time to think and ponder. I am with this motherless baby but all I can think about is how much Heavenly Father loves this baby. I know these babies that don't have families are not alone. They are watched over and loved. Heaven feels so close when I am in the ICU. I hum/ sing primary songs to these babies and just feel overwhelmed with love- my love for these children and the love Heavenly Fathers has for all his children.

The Mind of a Child

Kids have such a good imagination! They can create and imagine just about anything. The last half hour at the orphanage I spent pretending to fix the table with Teo, Danny, and Mirela. The three of them were sitting under the table and I was sitting next to them. We had play tools and were fixing the table underneath. We would put the tools up to the screws on the table and make noises! Who would of thought playing under a table could keep kids entertained for so long!

So today at the hospital Marion was o brasnic (angry). He was just a little stinker today. He would grab stuff and throw it. He was stepping all over the play dough that he put on the ground. He just grabbed Katelyn's water and starting drinking it. He also grabbed the desitin in Eliana's crib and opened it and started squeezing the cream out. He was not in a good mood. He wasn't listening to us either. Katelyn asked him why he was angry and he said because I am. Who knows what was going on. So I have a funny story about Marion. He was looking inside my backpack and unzipped my small pocket toward the top of my backpack. That is where I keep my pads and tampons. Well he saw something in there and grabbed a couple tampons out of my bag. I realized what he was doing and went to get them from him. When I came close he said mulţumesc "thank you" and then ran to the corner and put the tampon wrapper in his mouth to bite it open. The lady in the room was laughing cause she knew what he had in his mouth. I finally got it out of his hand but I have no clue what he thought it was. Maybe the idea of me wanting it made him want it more. Who knows but it was funny how he said mulţumesc like it was candy or something. Eliana was really happy and excited to see us. We danced to music of course! That is her favorite thing to do. We didn't spend much time in the hospital today because we left early to spend time with the sister missionaries. We were suppose to go to the Botanical Gardens but it was closed when we got there. Instead we drove to a lake and explored. We ended up walking around a cemetery. After spending time with the sora's, Andreea took us grocery shopping and her and Sarahy cut their hair. I was going to, just so I could say I cut my hair in Romania but it was pretty pricey and I didn't want to spend that much money on a hair cut I really didn't need.

Happy Birthday Grandma Cindy! I love you. I miss you dearly and you are always in my heart. I am so blessed to have you as my grandma.

"Grandma's hold our tiny hands for just a tiny while, but our hearts forever."

Sundays Are Always Good Days

Sarahy gave a talk on sacrifice, Sora Ginny gave a talk on children... Sunday school was on the priesthood. President David O. Mckay promised every man who uses the priesthood in righteousness that he "will find his life sweetened, his discernment sharpened to decide quickly between right and wrong, his feelings tender and compassionate, yet his spirit strong and valiant in defense of right; he will find the priesthood a never failing source of happiness- a well of living water springing up unto eternal life." Sora Litia gave a lesson in relief society about Sister Dibb's talk, I know it. I live it. I love it. She did a great job. I love going to church. Sunday is always a good day!

Andreea and me were matching! And we didn't even plan it. 

Aurelia, Florentina and Me

Talked with Chelsea! That was so great. Talked with Aislynn. It was nice to be able to talk to her and just tell her everything! She was also very helpful. Aislynn also told us about an awesome opportunity that I really hope I can do. She told us instead of going on our midsemester trip somewhere in Romania she told us about joining a study abroad group in Ukraine that is going to Poland, Italy, and Austria! It would be 9 days and we would also be going to Ukraine too. It would be awesome! I have an opportunity that probably won't ever arise again. I really really hope I can go! Later this night before I went to bed I faeetimed my family! I love talking to my family and could talk to them for hours. When I was talking to Austin I had him guess what I ate. Austin was so cute, "lungs." haha hearts is pretty close. He also showed me his train track he built. I'm so proud of him! Krissy took notes on romanian words I told her. You should see her note paper. It is very full. Foarte buna! I had a good chat with Brandon. The last question he asked me was if he could see the toilet. He wanted to know if it was different. It's never boring when I talk with my family! My dad told me he ate guinea pig, which is probably worse than chicken hearts. Jo was making faces at me and Brina was her cheery self popping in and out. Alex is just adorable and my mom is wonderful! 

This kid cracks me up! How can you not love this kid?

My wonderful Mom! I am so grateful for her. She has heard it all about Romania- the good, the bad, the sad, the happy. She is always there for me to talk to. She is incredible and I am so blessed to have her as my mom.

"We must ever remember who we are and what God expects us to become." -Thomas S. Monson

What a Wonderful Day!

This morning I went and played soccer with Aurelia and her friend. She took us to a place where they play and there were gypsie boys already playing. We ended up playing against the boys. Most of the boys seemed young but I don't really know. People here look a lot younger then they actually are. It was a lot of fun. We only played half of the field because there was snow on the other half. You know how in basketball when you play half court, you have to bring the ball back up to half before you can shoot? Well when we played soccer they didn't do that. If the boys had the ball and were about to shoot and then we got the ball we could shoot at the goal right then and there. So that was different. After we were done playing football, we all showered at Aurelia's. We got to see her apartment. It reminded me of dorms. There are 5 girls in one room. They have a small fridge, a table, 2 bunk beds and 1 twin bed. There is also 2 closets. It is like dorms in the way that all the rooms in a hall way share a bathroom and kitchen. After we showered and cleaned up we left for Andreea's house.

We went to Andreea's house and her mom, Maria, taught us how to make Romanian food. Maria, Andreea's sweet mom is the one in the picture. This is when we started making prăjitură cu mere (cake with apple). It was a neat experience learning and watching her cook Romanian food. One thing I noticed is they don't really measure. She would just put in as much as she thought was needed and then try it as she went a long. This was very nice of the Stoica family!

Pouring the cake batter in! Then we layered it with apples. She used wax paper on the bottom of the baking sheet so it wouldn't stick. How smart!

Aurelia and me! I really like this girl! She is so fun and I'm glad I have gotten to know her.

You will never guess what this is? 

Pui inimă şi pipotă. Yes I ate chicken hearts and gizzards. Lets just say it was interesting. The texture was weird, it was very chewy. If I thought about what I was eating, it was hard to eat the hearts and gizzards.

The vegetables cooking above. Below the finish product! Salată de boeuf (a type of salad. It has a ton of vegetables, chicken and homemade maioneză "mayonnaise"). The salad is a lot like potato salad.

All the food done and ready to eat. The yellow food in the middle is mămăligă. It is cornmeal and water. They eat it like mash potatoes. It is a side that goes with a lot of Romanian food here. They eat the mămăligă with brânză (sheep cheese). 

prăjitură cu mere! It was delicious. I loved it!