An Emotional Day

"What one carries deep in their heart cannot be lost by death"

I'm not really sure how to write what I have been feeling or even how to start. All I know is that Andreea is in heaven. She is in a much better place. A place where she is no longer suffering. A place where there is so much love. Hearing the news today that Andreea passed away yesterday was a total shock. I knew she hasn't been doing well but I didn't know it was that bad. To think that a baby girl I held three days ago is now in heaven made me so sad. Death can be a hard thing to deal with but I just remember that she is in a better place and that makes me happy. It is when we loose someone we care about that our faith in the gospel is tested. To know that I will see this beautiful baby girl again and that there is life after death brings comfort and peace. To know that families can be together forever is such a blessing. This little girl is a child of God who has now returned home to a oh so loving Heavenly Father. I like to think that she is with her family, surrounded by people who love her all the time. She has such a sweet spirit to her. I was blessed by being in her presence and knowing her for two months. I was able to relieve Andreea of her pain for the time I was with her. I could bring love and comfort to a suffering little child. I was an instrument in God's hands. There is no doubt in my mind that this child is loved by Heavenly Father and Jesus. I find peace knowing that she is with Heavenly Father and Jesus surrounded in love and beauty.

"I feel my Savior's love, in all the world around me. His spirit warms my soul, through everything I see. He knows I will follow him, give all my life to him. I feel my Savior's love, the love he freely gives me.

I feel my Savior's love; Its gentleness enfolds me, and when I kneel to pray, my heart is filled with peace. He knows I will follow him, give all my life to him. I feel my Savior's love, the love he freely gives me.

I feel my Savior's love and know that he will bless me. I offer him my heart; my shepherd he will be. He knows I will follow him, give all my life to him. I feel my Savior's love, the love he freely gives me.

I'll share my Savior's love by serving others freely. In serving I am blessed. In giving I receive. He knows I will follow him, give all my life to him. I feel my Savior's love, the love he freely gives me."

I didn't find out about Andreea until after the orphanage. When I walked into my room at the orphanage, it was all changed up. Denisa is no longer in my room. I'm especially going to miss her hugs because she just melts into your arms when she hugs you. I'm going to miss playing with her everyday. She moved into another room at the orphanage so I will still see her, she just isn't in my room. I think they were going to move Teo too but she got really sad and started crying when they moved her into that room. So Teo, Mirela and Marion are the older ones staying. There is still all the younger ones plus 2 new ones! Girls- Anna Maria and Jackie. Today it was mostly just Mirela and the babies in the room. I had almost all morning to play with the younger ones and that never happens. The older ones always want my attention. I love love Iza! and Robert! How about all of them! I feel like the younger ones really know who I am and get really excited when they see me! Robert absolutely loves to be held. He is so close to walking and will just pull himself up on my lap for me to hold him. Mihai shakes his head and makes an "aaaa" sound. It is way cute! He gets really excited whenever someone starts talking to him. Stelian is very ticklish and Florin was not feeling very well. This has been the second day he has thrown up. Yesterday it got on me but today he was in the stroller when he did. Poor baby. The worker let me hold him after he threw up though and that doesn't happen very often. Florin cries a lot so the workers keep him in his crib most of the morning. It was really good of me to spend some time with the younger ones today!

Here is Stelian!

Andreea joined me and Sarahy at the hospital today. She wanted to come volunteer with us so she came along. The first room we went into at the hospital was Andreea's room. The nurses let us go into ICU and the first room they took us to was hers, except there was a new baby in her crib. That was really hard going into her room. I held Denisa who is in ICU for awhile. She hasn't been doing so well. She has been really shaky and in a lot of pain. I think she calms down when we hold her though. On the fifth floor we saw Eliana, Ion, and a really small baby with beautiful red/ brown hair. Katelyn knows the mom of this little baby and normally she is here but the last couple days she hasn't been there. Her baby is really small and looks so fragile. Her arms and legs are bent and shaped in weird positions and they look like they are broken. I don't know if they are but it made my heart hurt seeing a baby like this. She seemed like she was in so much pain. She just kept crying and crying. The hospital was so hot today! Ion thought so too. He was sweating so much his clothes were all wet! Even the sheets on his bed were wet. Mr. Girl was very happy today! But when is he not happy? Eliana was really happy today too. Andreea was able to talk to her in Romanian a lot today. Eliana really liked that!

Denisa

Eliana! She has some crazy hair going on. Her hair can stick straight up. We style her hair when we visit her.

Ion from the orphanage. Ion is John in Romanian!

The end of our day of work. Me, Andreea, and Sarahy

After the hospital I was a total mess. It was a bunch of little things going on but mostly the news of Andreea. One thing set it off and the tears came. "Tears are words that need to be written."I'm so grateful for my family, especially for my mom. The love and kind words sent my way from people in my family are much appreciated. I know that all of my family cares so much about me. I love you all! Thanks for all your love, support, comfort and prayers.

"Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart"